Wellbeing and the Perception of Time

Time is something everyone has - but no one seems to have enough of it. There is widespread agreement that there is a lack of time, a general sense of not having enough of it.

When we say we don’t have enough time, what we almost always mean is:

I don’t have enough time to do the things I love.

I don’t have enough time to do the things that bring me happiness.

I don’t have enough time to spend with people I really care about.

It seems that we always have enough time to do the day-to-day tasks like working and caring for household and loved ones. However, the first thing that falls of the waggon when we are stretched for time, are the things that support our mental, physical and social wellbeing - the things that bring us joy.

Are you making time for yourself?

We all have 24 hours available per day. Large parts of that time need to be used for non-negotiable tasks like working, sleeping, maintaining the household and caring for children, partners, or pets.

Often, who is missing on that list is YOU.

There are many different reasons why people put themselves last on that list - or don’t put themselves on that list at all. Often, these are hidden commitments based on their value and belief system. For example, someone who grew up in a family where effort and hard work was aligned with being loved and getting praised might struggle as an adult to acknowledge when they have done enough and are allowed to put their feet up to relax. Doing nothing, or having downtime, might be associated with being lazy.

Another group of people who often struggle with putting self-care on the list are perfectionists. Thriving to be perfect requires time and energy, often leading to working more and feeling drained in the evening, having little energy to do anything other than watching Netflix.

Parents are also often prone to not putting themselves on the list. Again, this is usually due to simply not having the energy to invest in something just for themselves after a day of caring and running after the kids.

Why making time for yourself is important

It becomes clear that the perception of time is often connected with the amount of energy that we have available. When you need to use most of your mental energy for your non-negotiable daily tasks, it becomes harder to ‘make time’ for things that give you joy and happiness. When you are drained after a day of work, you end up putting a pizza in the oven and scrolling aimlessly through your social media feed while watching Netflix. While you still have time left in your day, you don’t have the energy to spend it on something that really boosts your wellbeing.

This conundrum leads to a downward spiral, slowly eating away at your wellbeing and leaving you with a feeling that there is not enough time in the day.

To break this cycle, it is essential to make time for yourself. Make time for yourself - even if it is only a few minutes to start with. This sounds like a chicken and egg situation at first, but hear me out!

From a wellbeing perspective, you gain energy from doing things that make you happy or give you joy. Therefore, adding activities to your day that bring you happiness, will also add energy to your day. This will help increase your chances to break the cycle and find this hour for yourself that you are dreaming about.

How does wellbeing look for you?

Wellbeing is a very individual concept, and it looks different for everyone. That means that the activities that enhance your wellbeing and happiness are unique to you. The below model of wellbeing - the PERMA model - gives an overview of the different dimensions that provide happiness and wellbeing:

P - Positive Emotions: all the activities that make you feel good, either done in solitude or with others.

E - Engagement: all activities that make you lose track of time and get fully absorbed in a task. These can happen at work or in your free time. Often these flow activities are connected to creativity or mastering a new skill.

R - Positive Relationships: spending time with people who make one feel seen, heard and understood. When spending time with these special people, you always feel recharged and energised.

M - Meaning: all activities that provide a sense of fulfilment, meaning and purpose.

A - Accomplishment: things one does that you get praised for by others - or by yourself.

More energy equals more time

Instead of saying: “I don’t have enough time.”, we should check in with ourselves and our energy reserves. Could it be a case of: “I don’t have enough energy to use any of my free time”?

If the latter is what’s going on for you, consider refilling your energy by doing activities from your wellbeing list.

That might sound impossible when you are in a situation where you feel you don’t have enough time at your hands. The key here lies in starting small and doing such an activity when you are at your best. Identify the time of day when you naturally have the most energy. The trick is to add energy when you still have energy left. Ask yourself which small wellbeing activity you could do when you are high in energy? Remember, it can be a few minutes to start with.

Adding a wellbeing activity at the time of the day when you are high in energy means you are giving yourself the highest chance of actually doing it. Get creative and add a different wellbeing activity every day - the more wellbeing dimensions of the PERMA model you draw from, the more wellbeing you are inviting into your life.

Here is an example of someone who is high in energy in the morning:

Monday: 10-minute journaling on Three Good Things that happened on the weekend -> boosts positive emotions

Tuesday: 20-minute arts and crafts flow activity -> boosts engagement

Wednesday: 15-minute coffee chat with a good friend -> boosts positive relationships

Thursday: reading a chapter in a book of personal interest -> boosts meaning in life

Friday: journaling about achievements of the week and impact they had on self and others -> boosts sense of accomplishment

Your next step

Are you ready to reclaim some of your time to yourself?

Make a commitment here and now of what you want to try one day this week! Start with picking one of the wellbeing dimensions and find a short activity that you love to do and add it to your peak time tomorrow!

And remember: a small step every day, will lead to big change over time!