A frequent visitor in my coaching practice is the problem of low confidence at work and how often we are struggling with moments of doubt, feeling like an imposter, or not knowledgable enough compared to others.

I have struggled with this feeling of not being good enough in the corporate workplace for a long, long time. I know how it can keep you confined in a box, preventing you from stretching out to the full potential that you hold.

Often, we feel that others know it all, that everyone else is an expert in something, which leads us to make ourselves smaller than we are. In some cases, this lack of confidence also prevents us from speaking up, not presenting our ideas, because we feel they are not good enough. This combination of doubt and low confidence keeps you in that box, feeling not good enough, stressed and anxious.

One of the biggest learnings for me since I am coaching others in the past year has been the realisation that:

You are not alone! In fact, you are in marvellous company, because everyone else has confidence issues too!

It seems that most of us - if not all of us - experience recurring moments of doubt and low confidence at work, making us feel anxious, not important, insecure, and leaving us thinking that we are not good enough, or worse: like we are faking it.

Putting on my Positive Psychologist thinking hat, I am wondering:

How can we get out of this low confidence & self-doubt spiral?
How can we help ourselves to be more confident?
How can we help others, our colleagues and team members and peers who seem to have the same struggles?

From a wellbeing perspective, self-confidence is strongly connected to optimism, resilience, high quality of functioning (your brain power!), being less prone to stress and depression (Boniwell & Tunariu, 2011). I don’t know about you, but these all sound like very good reasons to me to work on our confidence!

Self-confidence is defined as ‘being certain in your own abilities … and about having trust in people, plans and the future’ (Craig, 2007:2). Notice how this is a two-fold concept: self-confidence is drawn from the belief that you’ve got this. The other player in your self-confidence is the belief that the situation and people around you support you.

Starting with the belief in yourself that you’ve got this, here are some strategies that you can apply to belief in yourself more:

Analyse your self-talk.

What are the thoughts in your head when you are in situations that make you feel not good enough or like an imposter?
Often in these situations we engage in negative self-talk, which could sound something like this:

“Oh god, they will realise that I have no clue what I am talking about.”
“I better say nothing so they don’t find out that I am a fraud.”
“I am not good enough for this.”
“How on earth am I supposed to do this?”

Sounds familiar?

It is important to recognise: this is not you talking! This is your doubt talking!

In coaching, we look at alternative, empowering self-talk. What would be a better way to talk to yourself, that draws from your past experience, your skills, your expertise and what you are good at?

Here are some examples:

“I have successfully run projects in the past where I did not know all the answers in the beginning. This is a process. I can use some of my skills that I have and learn some more along the way!”
“This is new for all of us. Let’s find a way to make this happen together!”
“I don’t need to know everything. I am here because I know a lot already. And for the rest, I will work it out with the help of others or do some research.”

What examples can you come up with of positive, empowering self-talk for yourself?

Positive Affirmations.

Affirmations are positive sentences affirming your values, skills, strengths, best qualities and traits. You can write them down on a piece of paper and say them out loud before a meeting, or when you catch yourself in negative self-talk.

Affirmations can be a powerful way to rewire your brain and change your mindset from negative to positive immediately.

Some general examples are:

“I am good enough!”
”I am knowledgeable!”
”I am worthy!”
”I am equal and important.”
”I am here because I am [complete with your biggest strength].”

Can you think of a few more that resonate with you?

Going back to the definition of self-confidence, we also learned that self-confidence has an external, or situational element. This is were your colleagues and peers come in. Creating a supportive environment can often be achieved by inviting vulnerability to the table, rather than pretending we are all rockstars and know-it-alls.

Talk about it.

If you are part of an open and supportive work culture, you could think about having a talk with colleagues and share your own experiences and strategies how you deal with low confidence. Encouraging others to share the same can be a powerful learning as you can learn from each other while you share your own strategies. Is this something you could put on the agenda for an upcoming team meeting?

If you are in a less open work environment, start smaller. Have a chat with a colleague that you trust and share your thoughts and experiences around low confidence. When your confidence grows, consider speaking up in the moment when you feel your doubt is creeping in and ask clarifying questions. Remember that others in the room most likely feel the same at times. Address your doubt by gaining more information. Asking questions is not a weakness, it is a sign of interest, curiosity and a willingness to learn.

You have now learned 3 small steps that you can take if you find yourself in doubt or struggling with low confidence at work. Hopefully you can find some time to try one of them and observe how that can make a difference for you. And remember: you’ve got this!

References

Boniwell, I., & Tunariu, A. (2011). Positive Psychology Theory, Research and Applications (2nd ed.). Open University Press McGraw-Hill Education.

Craig, C. (2007). Creating Confidence: A Handbook for Professionals Working with Young People. Glasgow: Centre of Confidence and Well-Being.